The Demo Site

If you want to put on boots and get a lap-top computer to relieve yourself at night, you might be a redneck workaholic.

It never crossed my mind that there could be such a thing as a redneck workaholic, until I looked through a column on “Are you a workaholic?”

“Did you looked through this?" I surveyed my wife. "Are you a workaholic? It looks as if it's merely like those you-might-be-a-redneck jokes.”

My wife studied the page. “Maybe it was written by a redneck alcoholic.” She suggested.

“Workaholic, not alcoholic.”

“How do you appreciated the writer is not an alcoholic?” she demanded.

“I don't. But the column is around workaholics, and it displays just like a series of redneck jokes.”

“Well, possibly it was written by a redneck workaholic, then.” She suggested.

“No way. There is no this a thing.”

“Why not?” she wanted to know.

“Because workaholics sit late in front of computer screens and steroid-laced in-boxes, wearing $500 suits and $550 haircuts. Folks out here wear $19.95 jeans and occasionally wash this hair.”

“But many of them do spend late hours in front of this computers,” my wife pointed out.

“Like who?”

“Like you.”

“Oh, yeah…”

“Being a workaholic is not just close to computers and offices and making out a mortgage for a haircut,” she added. “Look at Buster.”

“Buster?”

“Sure, every period he's set to retire, he goes and buys another machine,” she pointed out. “One year it was a backhoe. Another it was a dump truck.”

“Wow, he ought to be desperate this year.”

“Why?” my wife asked.

“Because that year he bought a whole combine…”

“Ooh, which does sound desperate.”

“…plus a farm to use it on!”

“See?” my wife smiled. “You don't have to dwell in the city to be a workaholic. There can be this a thing as a workaholic redneck.

“That's a pity. Being a workaholic proves missing out on a lot of life.”

“That's true, but it is not just recently city folk who miss their kids growing up or are too busy working to help their wives clean the dishes.”

I took the hint and picked up a drying cloth. “You mean this a single person can get caught up in work, and lose sight of what's really important? Even farmers, moat diggers and the guy who sorts for the duration of the trash at the dump appearing for the tastiest morsels to put to the gulls?”

“I suppose so,” she answered investing in such a what-have-you-been-smoking look on her face. "Why not try to see if workaholic redneck jokes work?"

“Well, if you look forward to Christmas the present year, because you ought to take the afternoon off from tilling the land, you will be a workaholic redneck.”

“That's the spirit,” she encouraged.

I tried another, “If you're drinking your afternoon coffee based on data from a dirty mason jar from yesterday, you can be a workaholic redneck.”

“Very good,” she praised.

“If you stick family pictures to your backhoe window to remind you how they be on the look like, you may be a workaholic redneck.”

“Why not try one more, easily to motivate sure?” my wife suggested.

“OK, if you shoot your work amidst you to your son's baseball game, you might be a workaholic redneck.”

“Uh, OK…” she began.

“And if no one complains throughout the smell, you are able to live in a town full of workaholic rednecks!”

"You got it!" she shouted.

I realized the current I had depleted way too much long time operating about workaholic redneck jokes. There was only one thing I could do to compensate.

I tossed aside the drying cloth, grabbed my lap-top computer and rushed to the outhouse to catch up on a few hundred urgent emails.